Even in therapy, words can only express so much. Often, it takes an image or a clearly visualized memory to evoke a deeper feeling. I have been using photographs in therapy for many years, asking clients to bring in moments they want to share for our work together. In many ways, this simple exercise can deepen the work and provide powerful meaning about yourself or your relationships to loved ones.In couple's work, I often ask both people to bring in photographs of themselves as children to help their partner feel a deeper sense of empathy for the childhood wound (that deepest fear or unmet desire) that can get triggered during conflicts. I use a variety of approaches with couples, including IMAGO Therapy, which is based on the view that people choose their partners because they are reminded of the positive and also negative characteristics of their parents. This informs their initial attraction and explains the almost immediate sense of connection felt between partners upon meeting. The work for couples often begins after that first phase of the relationship, when the childhood wound gets triggered, and there is a wish to find healing from their partner. Instead, there can be a painful power struggle. Seeing your partner's face as a child in a photograph can help you connect to the deeper love you feel, and release your need to keep up a protective wall. When both partners can feel accepted and loved for their true, genuine selves, positive change occurs.
In individual work, photographs can help reveal true, inner feelings. It is often interesting to note which photographs someone will choose to bring to a session. It offers a window into a person's self-esteem and self-worth, and helps to identify which relationships are most meaningful. Just as in couple's work, viewing a photograph can evoke a greater sense of empathy. In individual work, you can understand your unique perspective in your own world and find a way to be kinder to yourself. We can explore what kind of response you have to seeing yourself and the memories that arise about that time in your life. A photograph can be a catalyst to explore the unconscious and help to verbalize unspoken feelings.
In session, we can come up with a variety of exercises together, creating powerful shared discussions. One client, a professional photographer, had difficulty feeling empathy for herself but easily found it for others, often strangers at events she was photographing. I asked her to take a self-portrait, and we talked about what she saw in her own photograph of herself. Through this exercise, she was able to see herself more generously, looking deep into her own eyes and feeling a new self-awareness. We were then able to begin to explore where some negative patterns began and how she could feel a greater sense of self-worth.
You can start thinking about how to use photographs for self-exploration. Look through some old photographs of yourself. What do you notice about your expression? What do you remember about the day the photo was taken? How did you feel about yourself or a loved one next to you? What was happening in your life at that time? How do you think of yourself now? Try to look back at yourself with kindness and understanding.
If you want to explore this subject further, here is a good resource with links about using photographs therapeutically.
-PhotoTherapy Centre
"Photography, as a powerful medium of expression and communications, offers an infinite variety of perception, interpretation and execution."
-Ansel Adams
Learn more about Beth Friedman's psychotherapy practice at:
ManhattanTherapists.com
